The Final Showdown

It kind of gives me fears! Thinking that I am off to give my last semester exams in a couple of days time! Hey, that's like 4 years of engineering! And to think of how your attitude's changed after being at college! The kind of complacency youve got in to is sure to make people go crazy! Who else would be sitting in front of the pc at half past 3 in the morning browsing the net, go out to see a movie and chat overnight two days before the exams. Dont take it that we are all prepared and confident. The truth is that we havent touched our books!
That should be scary enough for a lot of other people in the college also, this is the extreme...I am sure the topper of my branch would have put his money that I would fail in my exams with my preparations! Well,well....there's this uncanny confidence that may be i am going to pass in all my exams and hopefully in first class! I really do not know where that stems from, but all that I know that its a bad bad thought! It is exactly that thought, some kind of assurance that everythings going to go fine that led me throughout the last two years to slack! Go from a good student to the most irregular in class! Of course I would have liked that to be different, to have added a bit more value to my years in college by being academically stronger! It just didnt happen....think of it, I'll most probably be coming for my convocation, getting the degree of chemical engineering, while working for a software company. So what am I? A chemical engineer or an acquired software engineer ? A software professional would be an apt term, but what happens to all the Heat transfer,Transport Phenomenon,Unit Operations and Fluid Flow fundamentals?....Who cares, when you are drawing a handsome salary and working for a respectable company? May be not, havent got that complacent....not attending classes is different and making career choices is different....may be I was not rotting all those hours bunking classes, the perspective college has given me is irreplaceable....i hope that i'll do well in my exams....for me the later part is more important, what I've been waiting for all these years....getting down to the real bad world....or is it the other way round? Whatever it may be, here I come!

A Dialogue with Time (I)

A Dialogue with Time

This is a rather long post, to be continued......
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Time: That’s it, time’s up.

Me: He,He….you thought I was surprised?

Time: Hmm,thought you would plead for an extension.

Me: At last, got you!

Time: Not actually, who would want to finish off their college life? That’s when you feel there’s excess of me and never give a damn to who I am.

Me: Hey, true man! So you’re offended? Even I am pretty sad I treated you this way, that’s why I am looking to move on.

Time: So that’s it? You’re fed up with life at college and want a break?

Me: Now that’s reading something which was not there at all! C’mon, the break is inevitable. You thought I was not realistic enough to understand that sadly no tangible associations are permanent?

Time: Aha, so your relationship with your family and even your closest friends is temporary?

Me: Yes, temporary depends on the time scale you are talking about. At a long enough time scale, every association is temporary. You should know better.

Time: No. My job is to run and keep on running, not to stop and think.

Me: To exist without having to think is a virtue. Choices arise when you start contemplating and you are pushed in to a complex process of decision making where you are never sure of your move. Lucky guy! You don’t have to do it. It’s a bigger virtue to know your duty and be on it.

Time: Interesting, so what if I thought one fine day that I am tired with all the running and want to be something else….let’s say a season?

Me: Ha! Ha! Now this is the problem with not thinking at all!

Time: Now what did I say to make you laugh?

Me: You never understood that ‘you’ can not change from what ‘you’ are ? ‘Time’ and ‘Season’ as entities are diametrically opposite in their existence.

Time: Trying to teach me who I am?

Me: Well, all of us love to lecture, even when we know that it is of no avail!

Time: I know who I am.

Me: Is it, then let me hear it.

Time: I am the one you humans race against, not realizing that I will outrun you always. You perish, still I move on, on and on forever.

Me: There is a big difference between who you are and who you think you are. The road to the purpose of your existence becomes clearer when both of them converge. And my dear friend, for you the gap is as far apart as the poles.

Time: So are you telling me that I am not what I think I am?

Me: I don’t want to be conclusive. What I want to tell you is that who I think you are is very different from who you think you are. That may help you get to who you really is.

Time: Well, well….now do I really need to stop and think who I really am? Can’t I move on with who I think I am ?

Me: Yours is a completely different case! But for us to do that is a tragic offence. Essentially because your thought is only as good as the next one. And the process of evolving your thoughts is greatly dependant on your external environment and internal aspirations. You build a chimera and try to convince yourself that it is the reality. Sadly, you can drag your life on (even without realizing that you are dragging it on) till the very end, living in that ivory tower.

Time: So how does that matter as long as people move on in their lives?

Me: How does it matter living your life through shutting your eyes to someone and later realizing that the one you spurned was the one you loved and the one you loved was never the one for you? All you can do is sit down and rue about the lost ‘experience’ and hope life had a rewind button.

Time: Go on….

Me: It’s all about the experience. Only when you go through something will you realize its true flavour. Notions, prejudices and prejudgements often colour a picture of a hitherto un-experience reality. Sadly, we hold on to that canvas and cling to our present ‘secure’ realities refusing to change. Fear of the uncertain is primal.

But think of shedding your fears, treading the uncertain path and moving towards the experience of understanding who you really are. The ivory tower will come crashing down to the sweet chime of your inner realization. You will be born anew, look at things in new light, redefine yourself, your goals and make choices that really matter to you.
Freedom. That is when you experience real Freedom. Freedom leads to liberation and empowerment. People talk of inner peace and realization, for me they follow once you understand who you really are.
The value of both the experiences, being who you really are and who you think you are is completely different and it’s tragic if people miss to experience what really matters.

-jiju

The trouble of posting on net

The trouble of posting on the net is that you need the net connection at the first place and the server's got to work....my pc took me for a ride and it crashed(i had a miraculous escape!) and then blogger.com refused to open citing some server problem....this is why i prefer human servers!....And finally when things are working well ,exams are staring right at my face, havent been deterred by that though( i've been living with my eyes closed these days!)....Anyways its wonderful to be back....The chai bell has rung....got to recharge....i'll be back!